Finnegan’s World


From the beginning..
September 4, 2008, 12:15 pm
Filed under: horses | Tags: , ,

When someone you love dies, you can do some pretty crazy things.  The pain won’t ease, so you try to cover it up.  With prayer, with work, with shopping – with whatever you have to do to take that pain down a notch.  A half notch, even.  My dad died on July 12, 2006.  I may have been a “grown woman” of 36 at the time, but the pain hit me like it must hit a child.  Overwhelming.  And impossible to describe unless you’ve been through it.

As a Christian woman, I turned to God for peace.  As an American woman, I turned to shopping for diversion.  Didn’t even realise I was doing it until a few weeks (and a few hundred dollars) later, I saw my closet expanding, and for what?  I had to find something else.  Something that would occupy my brain during every waking moment because right now every waking moment was swirling and crushing me with thoughts of my dad.

I had started riding horses a year and a half earlier.  Weekly lessons with a young trainer, Maggie, who constantly challenged me beyond my comfort zone with a myriad of horses – mostly Arabians and Thoroughbreds, which, if you know anything about horses, tend to be a little hot.  They gave me a few scares, but mostly confidence and a good seat.

Maggie had been hinting around for a while that maybe it was time to start thinking about getting a horse of my own.  I had ridden a couple dozen, so I had a good feel for attributes I liked and ones I could do without.  A horse of my own?  That’s a big decision.  But you know what?  That’s a mission.  That’s exactly what I needed to fill my time and my mind and my heart.

I started looking.

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1 Comment so far
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WOW – what a difficult time. It is a blessing that you were able to channel your grief into something positive that would provide you with joy for years to come. What a great way to remember your dad.

Comment by Tea Escapade




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